


Asexual, Aromantic

by spellwing777



Category: Watchmen (Comic), Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Aromantic, Asexuality, Lesser-used Sexual Orientations, Multi, OT3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-03-31 23:08:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3996652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spellwing777/pseuds/spellwing777
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These terms are not always mutually inclusive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Asexual, Aromantic

When the confession had spilled out of his partner, after a night of so many close calls and too much blood, and too much, too much...Dan had understood why he’d hid, shaking, under the stairs. It had never been spelled out in words, but more in subtle body language; the avoidance of physical contact and the way he’d jerk when Dan moved too quickly. He never said anything about abuse, but he’d told him anyway. So, he understood his fear and they way he’d half-curled in on himself, like he expected to be hit when Dan had gently fished him out, flinching and quivering slightly when he dusted off cobwebs from the brim of his hat.

It took weeks and weeks to coax him into a relationship; into staying in his house, into eating with him. Into taking off the mask, and telling his name. When he finally got the idea across that, no, Dan would not snap or hit or do anything if he touched him; it was like an inverse of all those years of avoidance. He’d curl like a living vine around Dan on the couch, nuzzling like a cat; more affectionate than any of his past girlfriends. Dan didn’t usually think much about closeness outside of sex, but this was turning out to be more pleasant than any of his previous relationships. It made him realize that maybe he was just as touch starved as Rorschach obviously was.

But, by traditional definitions, their relationship wasn’t quite complete without including more. When they’d first kissed, he was jumpy, but that was understandable; Walter had said he’d never had a relationship before. He’d flinched too, when they finally moved to the bedroom, when the kisses turned into more. But he was gentle as he could be, asking repeatedly if he wanted to stop, if he was okay with this. The answer was always yes; and even though Rorschach didn’t come, despite him trying, he kept saying that yes, it was fine. He’d curled up against him the same way he always did, because even though he didn’t seem to enjoy the sex, he was always hungry for closeness.

When he’d woken up alone, he didn’t understand. 

Dan hadn’t woken alone almost since he’d started this...god, he wasn’t sure if he could call it a relationship, but that’s pretty much what it was now. He could feel the pit of his stomach sink as he just knew something was wrong, and he frantically searched the house. He’d found him under the stairs by the chocked sounds he was making; and Dan didn’t say a word until he was huddled up with him. He didn’t need to say much; he could guess what was wrong.

“...You weren’t okay with what we did last night, were you.” 

His face twisted, and he tried to deny, but Walter didn’t like to lie to him. 

“Wanted to please you.” His voice was hoarse, quiet. “Make you happy.”

“Did...” He swallowed thickly. “Did someone...do something to you? When you were younger?”

Walter shook his head quickly. “No. But I have never...have never liked it. Other boys I knew talked about it; talked about...dreams. Urges. Never had them. Thought there was something wrong with me.”

“Never initiated anything with anyone; knew what they would eventually want. Knew I couldn’t give it.” Dan could feel him shaking against him. “Never admitted...feelings...to you because I knew that you would want...that.”

“Love you.” He said, and his voice hitched on a sob. “But...can’t-can’t give you-”

Dan pulled him tight against his chest, like he was trying to squeeze all the damage and pain out of his friend. It was also for his own comfort, out of regret for unknowingly forcing him into doing something that obviously hurt him.

“Sorry.” He managed to rasp into Walter’s ear. “I wont...I won’t ask you to do that again.”

\---

And he didn’t. Even though he was a healthy, young man in his prime with an equally healthy libido; the pale, sickened look that Walter tried to hide when he offered to help him one time they woken with his morning wood pressed against his thigh was enough to make him feel sick himself.

“Just want to-” Dan cut him off before he could say it; before he could finish that horrible sentence.

“No. You don’t have to. You don’t. You don’t.” 

\---

But, because Dan was a gentleman, he let Laurie stay at his house when she left Jon. He let her stay, even though her eye’s burned when she looked at him. He let her stay; even though when they curled up together it was more like a cling. Like Walter could keep him from slipping away if he held him tight enough. And when they woke up in the morning, Dan felt the front of his shirt was damp, and Walter’s eyes were raw and burning.

\---

When she cornered him in Archie, smiling and intent, he’d never felt more desperately aroused and horribly guilty. The two feelings didn’t mix, and he’d staggered away from her, gagging and feeling sick.

She stopped inches from him, face impassive. “You and him are together, huh.”

He swallowed, and nodded. They’d never said anything, in deference to Walter; but their closeness, the way Rorschach stood close to him on patrol, told her everything.

“Then why do you look so desperate, huh?” She asked, bluntly.

He winced. “I, I’m...”

She stared back, and his denials trailed off to a stop.

“We don’t...” He swallowed. “He can’t...have sex.”

“But you want too.”

“I also want to keep him.” He gave her a pleading look. “If that means I can’t have sex with him, than that’s fine. I won’t risk all of that for you.”

She thankfully backed down. “Probably a good idea.” She lit a cigarette. “It’s a lot to lose for a quick fuck.”

Dan stared at her as she breathed out a thick cloud of smoke, the haze wreathing her face; and she looked back with a faintly thoughtful expression.

“What’s it like?” She asked.

Dan bristled, defensive. “I love him. Sex isn’t everything in a relationship.”

She snorted. “Not what I meant. I meant, what is it like to be in a relationship, period.”

He stared at her, confused. “...Didn’t you just get out of one?”

She barked a harsh, short laugh. “I was sixteen, horny, and looking for a way to get out from under my mom’s thumb; he was a bored god that didn’t know how to really relate to people anymore. That’s not a relationship,” She sucked in another deep breath of smoke. “That’s just sex. I was never in love with him, and I don’t think he can feel love anymore.”

She stared at him for a while, slowly contemplative. “I’ve never really felt love; I’ve never seen the appeal. Half the reason I stayed with him so long is because he was just as disinterested in romance as I was; the other half was my mom hated him.” Her voice started to rise. “The only reason I broke up with him is because he started to forget I existed, and I needed sex once in a while that didn’t involve him either multitasking and doing scientific experiments during it; or making love to me with all the passion of a goddamn machine!”

Dan stared at her slack-jawed through the entire rant, and she finally sighed, lowering her voice. 

“You shouldn’t get involved with me, Dan. I can tell you’re a good guy; the kind of guy that needs more than a quick fuck.” She turned away from him, going to sit in the co-pilot’s seat. “ ‘Fraid you can’t get all of what you need from me either.”

\---

When they are all back in the nest and Laurie had gone upstairs, Dan doesn’t wait for Walter to completely undress. He usually waited until Rorschach was completely stripped off, because Rorschach is an avatar of justice and he doesn’t like to be held; but he can’t wait for Walter to emerge from under his shell. Rorschach stiffens immediately when Dan enfolds him into a hug, but he doesn’t shove him away. He only tenses more when he tells him what almost happened in the ship, vomiting it all out and shakily clinging to him like Walter usually did.

“...Know you are attracted to her.” He ground out finally. 

“But I don’t want her. Buddy, I-” love you. Rorschach didn’t let him say it, didn’t let him finish that sentence, no matter how sincerely he meant it.

“Can’t give you what you want.” He was glad he was wearing his costume still; Rorschach had the will to push him away, even though Dan struggled against him, trying desperately to cling.

“Neither can I.” They both stopped to look up the basement steps, where she lounged against the doorframe, cigarette smoke haloing her face. 

The basement was silent as she slowly sauntered down to them, and Rorschach can see the expression of loathing and longing warring in Daniel’s face as he watched the swing of her hips.  
She didn't go to him, though. She stoped in front of Rorschach, staring back at him. She’d been a selfish little bitch when she’d been sixteen, not caring that she’d ruined Janey’s life until she was old enough to understand regret. She was old enough now to be a little wiser; to not want to screw up a second time. He flinched when she put a hand on his shoulder, but he didn’t push her away.

“I can’t give him what he wants either.” She repeated.

“Can’t have sex with him. Should be with you. Would be happier.”

She rolled her eyes. “Thiers more to a relationship then just sex, like cuddling and holding hands and all that mushy crap-and don’t deny it; you guys are not a subtle as you think-and while you might not be able to get it up with him or whatever, but I couldn’t stand to curl up on the couch and watch nature documentaries with him either.”

She could hear the glove leather squeak as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

“Neither of us can give him what he needs.” He sucked in a breath. “...Not individually.”

“What?” Dan, left out of the conversation until now, whipped his head furiously back and forth between them, eyes huge.

Laurie was shocked too, but handled it better. “You want me too...” She trailed off, unable to finish.

“Yes.” He nodded.

“Uh, do I get a say in this?” Dan squeaked.

“Always have a say, Daniel.” He said quietly. “Want you to be happy.”

Dan looked over at him, and he couldn’t help but remember finding his partner trembling under the stairs, him saying yes to that too; how badly it had affected him. 

Rorschach could guess what he was thinking, and pressed his hands against his chest. “Am certain about this Daniel.”

\---

It’s been a year, _a year_ , and it’s the first time Walter goes to bed alone. The other room is at the far end of the hall, so he can’t hear the noises, the slap of flesh and the moans; and he so grateful that he can’t.

He goes to bed alone, but he doesn’t stay alone. He is on the edge of sleep when he feels the mattress dip and a body slide in next to him. He flinches, expecting the sickly smell of sex to hit his nose, but he smells nothing but damp skin and soap when Daniel wraps his arms around him. Walter is profoundly grateful that he showered. They lie in silence for a while, neither speaking, neither knowing what to say.

“...I love you.” Dan says softly, and it’s enough.

\---

It shouldn’t work, it really shouldn’t, but it does. Perhaps it helps that they are all far from normal; traditional relationships strangers to them except for Dan and his handful of girlfriends. Walter gets silent paroxysms just _thinking_ about sex, Laurie is sneeringly cynical towards any display of affection; and Dan is somewhere in the middle. For whatever reason, Dan is simply grateful that Rorschach silently slips upstairs to undress and shower, leaving Dan and Laurie to grind out the post-patrol adrenaline. He’s grateful to know that Laurie will savagely kick him from her bed because she _does not_ cuddle; and that instead he’ll find freshly turned-down sheets and warm, welcoming arms in the other room because he needs more than just sex and while she can’t provide that, Walter can.

And while the solution is unorthodox, there are some advantages besides the obvious. Dan notices that a tension seems to have lifted from Walter that he only notices now it’s gone. It’s in the relaxed lines of his neck as they lazily kiss(Because, for him, kisses were a display of affection, not sexual; the one thing that his mother hadn’t tainted because she never kissed her customers) and he thinks he probably shouldn’t ask, but he does anyway.

“Was afraid.” He said quietly, in between kisses. “That you eventually want what I couldn’t give. Thought you’d leave; find someone that could.”

“You know I wouldn’t-”

Walter hushed him. “Know you have needs. Not so selfish to demand you to stay at the expense of your happiness. Would have let you leave, if it was best for you.” 

Dan fell silent as he laid his head on his broad chest. 

“Glad we found a compromise instead.” Walter said quietly.

Dan swallowed hard. “...Yeah, buddy. I’m glad we did.”


End file.
